Dog Days of August

Can definitely tell it's August around here...too hot to do much of anything.  Can't even bear to be outside until after 9 pm.  Haven't worked out in a week, but I'm going to go tonight. I don't feel like I've gained any weight, but I doubt I've lost any either.  My energy reserves get very low in hot weather. 

On the love front:  I'm in it!  And it's great, I tell ya!  Who knew? 
My grandmother passed away last month and the only thing she ever wanted to talk to me about was my stinking love life and I HATED to be asked about it, but now that I have one and would love to share it with her, she's gone.  But I have a good feeling she knows!

What a difference a month makes

I had honestly thought I would never, ever love a man again.  I was in love once a long, long time ago, but things just didn't work out and not that I had given up, no one has ever come along that I have been able to love with my whole heart.  Just didn't happen.  Until this month. 

So much happened in June that made me realize how short life is and if one is going to be happy, NOW is the time.  A long time friend had a boating accident in the Keys and her two little boys were very badly injured, but after several weeks in trauma care and ICU, they're home and healing well.  A very close family friend passed away June 18, and my own granny passed away the next week.   It was just one thing after another, and then, just as quickly, I've fallen in love.  I don't want to waste anymore time.  I've always heard that you'll know when the right one comes along and now I know what that means.   

I did manage to lose 5 lbs since I weighed in at 216.  Still working out and trying to make better food choices. 

Love or something like it

Has a hold on me.  We'll see what happens, but I really believe I'm in real love.  We've known each other since we were ten years old and have always been friendly when we've come across each other....but in the few months since he's started coming to my church, I've come to know him in a different light.  And he makes me laugh.

At square two

I had a date last night!  With someone I've known forever and I really had a great time.  Laughed for two solid hours.  I knew I would and that's why I wanted to go out with him.  Laughter is the best medicine.  We're going out again Friday evening for sushi.!!!  While he's funny and keeps me laughing, he's also mellowed out so much over the last few years and he's not one of those guys that's into any game playing. 

Weighed in at 216 tonight.  The highest I've ever been and not one bit surprised.  What's it going to take? 
My mom had to work at the library tonight from 6-8 so I made a point of driving her so I could work out for the two hours she was there.  That's a start.   Now I have to curb my eating. 

I hate journaling food and I won't do it for more than a week probably, but here's what I ate today:

a ham sandwich around 11:30
lots of coffee
a bowl of cereal with skim milk at 4:00
a chicken sanwich with garlic mayo and pickles at 9:15 pm
Lots of Crystal light and water


Must make better choices tomorrow. 

On another blog tonight I read something that brought up so much for me. 
It's funny (not) how words can continue to hurt years and years later. 
When I was in my twenties I dated a guy (for way too freaking long) that thought I could maybe lose a few pounds.  What I did lose was him, THANK GOD, but it still hurts sometimes.

Back at Square One

I'm really disappointed in myself right now.  I am fatter than ever with absolutely zero motivation to do anything about it.   Looking at pictures of myself at a healthy weight and now does nothing to make me want to change.  I might think about it first thing in the morning, but later in the day I have no will power.  It's like I forget I'm fat. 

Right now I'm thinking I might start journaling, but that always gets to be a drag.  I need to really explore the reasons I eat crap, don't go to the gym, and say yes to Frosty's.

Reading an earlier post from December 2009 abouth the reasons I want to lose weight helped.  I was in a great frame of mind then and really motivated.  Number 5 makes me smile.  Robbie apologized later and he was so innocent, FB is crazy like that.   He was so sweet and he didn't think I was fat at all.  It was completely misunderstood.  I had forgotten that!

Whew ~ I'm glad that's over!

Friday night: Pizza and Ice skating.  Check
Saturday:     Christmas shopping at Tanger.  Check
Sat. Eve:      Christmas shopping in Macon, Dinner with mama.  Check
Sund.           Take choir presents to Jackson Pres. @ 9 am, go to St. Joseph for Memorial Mass for Marie,
                    Cantata final practice 2-3, Cantata performance @ 3 pm.  Check.

All done and crossed off my list.   Now I just have to wrap presents and wait for Christmas!  I think Rivers is going to spend Christmas with me!  Yippee!!!!! 

Woohooo 7 lbs.!!!! 7 more to go before the end of this year!!!

I weighed in today.  I was planning to do it on Sunday, but with the Joy Gift Dinner and play practice I didn't have time.  Plus, I had to make something for dinner.   I went to the gym with Rivers last night, but I kinda hurried through my workout and didn't take the time.  I went by myself tonight, and although I love Rivers and love going to the gym with him, I definitely get a better workout by myself.  He joined me at the gym tonight after I had been on the treadmill for an hour then I did the stairmaster for the first time.  After that, I weighed.  I really couldn't believe it as I was moving the weight to the left, and to the left some more.  I would love to lose 7 more before December is over.  I have to keep my eyes on the prize. 
I flubbed up this weekend with my office Christmas party.  I did have a couple of glasses of wine and then when Rivers and I got back to my house we laid in bed, talked and I had even more.  I had so much fun and I really don't regret it, but still, I can't do that again for a very long time.  I worked out extra hard tonight to make up for it! 
This week I have Session on Thursday (I'll take a Subway sandwich and water) and on Friday, Dede and I are taking the kids to Macon ice skating and to Mellow Mushroom.  I will eat maybe a Greek salad with dressing on the side and a sliver of pizza.  I'll have yogurt for breakfast and a salad for lunch on Friday.
Regardless of how much I have to do, I'm finding that planning my meals around and with my activities is really helping so I won't come home feeling starved and then pigging out.