2.2 lbs loss!!!! 198.2

I'm so excited about that loss!  I was quite surprised as I've tried to watch what I eat and exericise everyday in some way, I really didn't 'try'.  I didn't track, didn't cook any WW meals, didn't stress, didn't drink a gallon of water everyday to flush everything out, didn't make myself nuts.  I've decided if I don't get below 180 lbs, I'm gonna be OK being me. 

All my life I've felt chunky and bad about myself in some way because I thought I was fat.  EVEN WHEN I WASN'T!  Once in my 20's, I went to a WW meeting (because I was dating an a$$) and I weighed in at 132, and I felt horrible about myself, which only caused stress that I couldn't deal with, so I ate, and ate.  I did lose a ton of weight (and sadly, muscle too) in my late 20's, but I should have never tried to lose it in the first place....  At this point in my life, I just want to fit in my clothes.  I have a man that loves me, I'm really enjoying my life,  and I'm getting to the point in my life that I just want to be healthy.  Not thin, just healthy in my mind and body.  Thinking about weight and what other people think of my weight is for the birds.  I just need to lose the anxiety my weight causes me.....  OMG, reading all this bull makes me want to puke.  I don't really know how I feel....   I just want to change patterns in my life that cause me to make the wrong choices regarding food and exercise.  And I'm really trying.

Tuesday Weigh In today

I feel I've lost a little, not much, but some.  I've walked six days this week, eaten pretty good, and have really tried to stay on track (just mentally - not great at writing down what I've eaten).  So we'll see.....

Changed my mind on December 11.... just way too soon, and honestly, I really can't be stressed out now planning a wedding.  I will continue making plans, but I think a spring or very early summer wedding would be easier to plan.  Neither of us really wants to wait, but we also are very busy people and I want to do the planning myself to keep costs down and other reasons.  I just want it to be especially special and not rushed...

Weighed in Tuesday and saw a 2.2 lb. loss!  I'm not really tracking what I eat, just mentally adding and hoping I fall within a few points of my 25 point total.  I've been walking almost everyday - I took off last Saturday, so that has helped too.  I've never been one to exercise for the enjoyment of it, but I can really tell a difference in the way I feel.  Much more energy, less stress, clothes fit better...all good things. 

Our WW leader quit and took a better job with benefits at a local grocer.  I really liked her even though I had only been to two meetings.  She had alot of useful tips and suggestions such as hungrygirl.com with lots of great recipes with points values.  Her recipes are mostly substitutions of low fat ingredients, but still really good.

One pound. woohoo

Lost 1.2 when I weighed in Tuesday.  Hope to see more of a loss the next weigh in.  Walking everyday, eating much better, drinking water...so I'm doing all the right things.  All together, I've lost 13 lbs since July 6, so I have to be happy about that.  Moving on....

WW and other stuff

I went to the WW meeting last night and weighed in at 204.5.  Since July 7, I've really tried to make better food choices and exercising more.  Apparently it's worked, but if I didn't go to WW or some other support group, I'd surely stop.  I'd have one of those days where I forget I'm fat, then it would be all downhill from there until something would make me snap back to reality.  Anywho, I really liked the meeting and the leader.  I knew her from the gym I work out at as she's a fitness instructor and we've had a couple of conversations.  I've never taken any of her classes, but she's just a friendly type of person and encouraging. 

Hopefully by this time next week I'll know for sure about having the church and can start making real plans as opposed to these plans  in my head.  They don't get checked off.  We've decided on December 11, and while it may be a bit cool outside, my sister and I think a big (make that BIG) tent off the side of the church coming out of the fellowship hall will do just fine with a couple of heat lamps.  That way we can use the fellowship hall and the outdoors will give us more room.  All stuff that can be worked out, but the  I'm having claustrophobic thoughts of 100 people ( really hope it's not more than 60 ) crammed into the fellowship hall. 

I'm so thankful to have a wonderful mother, sister and brother.  My father is a piece of work, but whatever.  I guess if I didn't know the difference, I wouldn't be so thankful for the people who love me.  It has taken me a long, long time to figure that out.

I do!

Yes I do!  And I'm going to say it in front of God and everybody on December 11, 2010.  So I have roughly 3 months and 3 weeks to get this planned.  Woohooo!  Although the date is pretty well set for us, we really want to get married at our church and will have to 'book' it for that day.  So we'll see.  Hopefully by the weekend, we will know if it will be that day. If we can't be married at Jackson Pres., we just might get married in the backyard of his parents house. 

I'm going to go check out a  WW meeting tomorrow night.  I've no idea what to expect and I'm really not sure I need alot of stringent rules right now while I'm planning a wedding, but I HAVE TO LOOK GREAT IN MY DRESS!  When I get one.  And I won't get one until I lose the lbs.  I say 25 lbs before 12/11 is doable.  Starting tomorrow. 

I'm thinking I'll try WW, although I absolutely loathe the thought sharing my fatness with a group of strangers, I just don't know what else to do.  I also hate journaling food.  But maybe, just maybe, it will help me change my attitude and get me motivated to lose the lb's.  We'll see...I'm going to check out a meeting and go next week.